The Secret to Receiving Holy Communion Perfectly

Jesus is fully God and fully man, possessing both a Divine Nature and a human nature. He is the Lord of Lords, the promised Messiah (or Christ), the Way, the Truth and the Life, Love Incarnate, Beauty Enfleshed, the Eternal Word, the Only Begotten of the Father, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.

This one and only Jesus is truly and really present in the Eucharist, and as Catholics we receive Him under the appearance of bread and wine every week, or perhaps even every day.

The Eucharist and the Catholic

When someone has a healthy diet we expect that their physical health will improve. Yet often, despite subsisting on the spiritual diet of Jesus’ Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, there can be outwardly practicing Catholics who are so wretched that if we were to glance at Santa’s naughty list we might find them listed before even Stalin himself! Without God’s grace such a Catholic could indeed be us – and that is a humbling truth; and even with God’s grace, aren’t we keenly aware of our sinfulness and capacity for nastiness despite frequenting Holy Communion? We shouldn’t spend our lives pondering on such miserable thoughts in regards to our ineptness, but it’s good to keep such thoughts on the mantel piece of our mind – as a series of trophies which we have won for our ability to do naught but fail when left to our own devices. A little reminder that can serve to keep us grounded, our ego’s whipped, and that harshness towards our neighbours at bay.

So yes, we’re imperfect. Ah, but Jesus is perfect. So if we receive Jesus in the Eucharist this will make us perfect, right?

The Eucharist as an Efficacious Sacrament

Before we answer this question we must understand what a sacrament is, and how they work in sanctifying us. We’ll be reading the following in light of the Sacrament of the Eucharist:

From the Catechism we read:

The sacraments are efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us. The visible rites by which the sacraments are celebrated signify and make present the graces proper to each sacrament. They bear fruit in those who receive them with the required dispositions. (CCC 1131).

The Seven Sacraments

The sacraments are efficacious signs of grace. What does that mean? That means that the seven sacraments of the Church confer both the unique grace particular to that sacrament, and the universal grace bestowed by all of the sacraments – a share in the life of Christ, no matter what, ipso facto, so long as the sacrament is carried out as it is supposed to be and with the right intention. In the case of the Eucharist, Jesus is always made present on the altar so long as the words of consecration are said as they are supposed to be said, and if the celebrant bears the intention of doing as the Church intends – which is consecrating the bread and wine into Jesus’ Body and Blood. This is no time to go into such a topic, nor to consider ifs and buts, for all that practically concerns us is this: that no matter what, when we receive the Eucharist, we are receiving Jesus Himself, and therefore, whether we’re Hitler or Mother Teresa we would be receiving Jesus and a lavishing of infinite graces. Since if we’re receiving the Eucharist, we are receiving the graces of the Eucharist, which are the graces of Jesus. Concerning this truth St. Paul exclaims: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ [thus in the Eucharist] with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Eph 1:3).

The Proper Dispositions

Yet then we come to consider the final sentence of the quote from the Catechism, the catch as it were: They [the sacraments] bear fruit in those who receive them with the required dispositions. So no matter what if we receive the sacrament of the Eucharist we are receiving the infinite graces which are housed within the Person of Christ – graces which can immediately turn a sinner into a saint, and vice into virtue, for nothing is beyond the Divine Power. Yet this does not mean that these infinite graces will come to be realised, actualised, and will bear fruit within us – for such graces only bear fruit in those who receive the Eucharist with the required dispositions. What are these required dispositions that make the graces of the Eucharist bloom forth as fruits of virtues? Firstly, to be in a state of grace, which requires us to be without mortal sin, and to allow God to cleanse us of it if we are in such a state through the sacrament of Confession (the Sacrament of Mercy). The list of required dispositions then begins, but we’ll only mention the main ones:

1)                  Faith in the Real Presence, believing that Jesus is truly in the Eucharist, and that by receiving the Eucharist we are receiving Him into our heart.

2)                   Trust in Jesus’ Mercy, that His Holiness can swallow up our sinfulness, lack of virtue and our shame, whence we pray during the Liturgy: “Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed.”

3)                  Humility: coming before Jesus in a spirit of repentance, walking our way down the aisle with the awareness that we are not worthy to receive so great a guest into our sinful souls, but all the while remaining confident that He wants to enter into us. After all, in the Eucharist Jesus has been waiting for over two thousand years to enter into our hearts! Whence we read: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” (Rev 3:20).

4)                  Reverence and Adoration. To be reverent involves outwardly being attentive during Mass and graceful in the manner we receive our Lord in Holy Communion. Yet above all it involves a disposition of the heart that submits and surrenders to Jesus, not merely as a servant to his Master, but as a newlywed bride to her Groom, and as a leaf that yields itself to the gushing of the wind so as to be raised aloft into the sky.

Anyone can receive on the tongue. Anyone can kneel. These outward postures are good, yet such postures are empty and meaningless if we don’t receive on the tongue of our soul, and kneel with our hearts when we receive our Good Lord. In a Corpus Christi homily Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI speaks on this disposition of reverence and adoration: “If I am truly to communicate with another person I must know him, I must be able to be in silence close to him, to listen to him and look at him lovingly. True love and true friendship are always nourished by the reciprocity of looks, of intense, eloquent silences full of respect and veneration, so that the encounter may be lived profoundly and personally rather than superficially. And, unfortunately, if this dimension is lacking, sacramental communion itself may become a superficial gesture on our part.”[1] How important it is then, to commune with our Lord before Mass in preparation, and after Mass in thanksgiving – with words yes, but above all with a silent intent of adoration by which we silently bask in the reality that Jesus is Almighty God.

5)                  With intent: that is, we must come to Mass with a handful of petitions, and should have various intentions for the Holy Communion we are about to receive. We should always hold some sort of intention that this Communion would transform us and would allow God’s Will to be done in our lives. We should also bear intentions to receive our Holy Communion on behalf of those in purgatory, on behalf of relatives (living and deceased), friends, those in need, and those who are spiritually impoverished – indeed this is the greatest thing we can do for anyone. We should also bear the intent of wanting to be consumed by the Divine Love which we are receiving, and to consume this same very Love within ourselves. There is no limit to the intentions we can have, and so long as our greatest intention is to love Jesus and to conform ourselves and surrender to Him, and we bear intentions for other people and not just for ourselves (since there is nothing that is more personal, and that is more communal than the Eucharist), then we will not make Him sad by exploiting Him like some vending machine to ‘get what we want’, but instead we will be pleasing Him with our shopping list of intentions –for He is God, and a generous God at that who wants to give! If somehow we forget to offer certain intentions before or during Communion, or forget to give thanks after Communion or can’t for whatever reason, we can do so afterwards whenever we remember, since it’s never too late to make good of the present moment.

6)                 Finally, and most importantly, love. We must receive our Lord with a heart filled and brimming with desirous love to be brought into a deeper union with our Maker. We must pant for the Love of God which is the Eucharist, yearning that this Divine Love may grow within us, and would in turn lead us to love our neighbours in a saintly way. This is why Holy Communion is called – communion, since it’s a common, communal and mutual union with Jesus Christ.

Any one of us can pour water on a fruit tree. But if such a tree doesn’t absorb the water, well…no fruits will be borne, nor will such a tree even be able to sustain its life. I could also flog a dead horse, and say “giddy up!”, but this doesn’t mean I’m going to win an Olympic gold medal in equestrian. Likewise, we may receive the Eucharist, but if we do not receive the Eucharist with the proper dispositions, such as we mentioned above, then in a sense we are receiving the Eucharist in vain. Worse than that, it’s as though we were to invite this Divine Guest into the house of our souls, only to ignore Him, forget about Him… and perhaps even drive Him out through indifference, or to torture Him by our grave sins!

Making the Best of our Holy Communions

How many Masses have we attended as Catholics by just going through the motions and without bearing the proper dispositions in receiving the Eucharist? How many Catholics die and go to purgatory only wishing that they could be back on earth and redo the Communion’s they received like zombies? Such souls would know what they’ve missed out on, since our Lord said to St. Maria Faustina Kowalska: “Every Holy Communion you receive increases your capacity to commune with the Father in eternity” – which means that every Holy Communion well received will expand our soul and increase its capacity for delights in heaven. We should take a page out of St. Gemma Galgani’s book, and ready ourselves for Holy Communion like she did. For she used to rouse herself before every Holy Communion by treating it as though it were to be her last time, and as though she were to die afterwards.

The good thing is we have today, and can change the way we receive Holy Communion today and for every tomorrow. Of course, there’s nothing that we can really do, but the little of what we can do is to ask Jesus to give us the dispositions He wants us to have in receiving Him in Holy Communion and to teach us how to make the best of our Holy Communions while we can. It’s really that simple. “Ask and you shall receive” (Mt 7:7).

Our Dispositions Will Always be Imperfect

Yet often things aren’t so black and white, for perhaps we possess to some degree the dispositions required so that the Eucharist can bear fruit within our lives. In fact, the truth of the matter is that no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be able to have a perfect faith, a perfect trust, a perfect humility, a perfect reverence or act of Adoration, a perfect intent, or a perfect love. So it seems as if we’re condemned to receive our Lord with good but imperfect dispositions that allow the Holy Communions we receive to imperfectly bear fruit within our lives. For after all, an imperfect disposition can result in nothing more than imperfectly blossomed fruits. Not that there’s anything imperfect about the graces we receive in the Eucharist, but if our dispositions are imperfect we can only imperfectly absorb such perfect grace.

The Secret: Making Mary’s Perfect Dispositions our Own

Mary, Mother of the Eucharist

It’s a good thing our Catholic faith has a solution for every spiritual dilemma. For there is a guaranteed way (a Marian secret) to receive our Lord in the Eucharist with the PERFECT DISPOSITIONS, and its ridiculously simple. The secret is this: all we need to do is to turn to Mary and take all that is Hers, and make it our own. Why is this a secret? Because despite God wanting everyone to know about it, it’s hardly known!

Mary is full of grace (Lk 1:28) and possesses every virtue in perfection. Now this blessed woman is not a stranger to us, but She is our Mother and we are her children. All that Mary is and has is therefore ours, we must only be confident enough and have the faith to use such treasures God has placed within this Sacred Treasury who is our Mother. We must therefore swap and exchange our imperfect dispositions with Mary’s Perfect Dispositions. Hiding our imperfect dispositions as droplets into the seas of Mary’s Perfect Dispositions.

1)      So then if we want a perfect faith, we must take hold of that Perfect Faith which Mary once had, burying our own imperfect faith within it, so that when we approach the Lord in Holy Communion we – or rather Mary in us, and us in, with and through Mary – will be receiving Him with a Perfect Faith.

2)      No matter how hard we try we’ll never be able to trust in the same way that Mary did. It’s a good thing that we can claim that very trust which Mary had whilst on earth, and use it as our own. Perhaps we don’t have enough trust that God can bring back a loved one to the faith. Or perhaps we don’t think He can make a saint out of us, or that His Mercy is bigger than our sinfulness. All we do need is enough trust to take Mary’s own Perfect Trust as our own. Even if we think we trust in God, still, if we want to be perfect we must use Mary’s Perfect Trust which surpasses any kind of trust that we ourselves can muster up. Thus as we approach the altar to receive our Lord, we can say: “Jesus I trust in You with the very Trust of Your dear Mother.”

3)      If anyone thinks that they are humble that is the surest sign of pride! True humility consists in realising that no matter how allegedly ‘humble’ we are or try to be, we cannot ever really attain a perfect humility. This is why we must clothe ourselves in the very Humility of Mary, so that as we receive the Lord we can say in our hearts: “I am not humble Lord, but Mary is, and it is Mary who receives You today within me.”

4)      As hard as we try we’ll never be perfectly reverent, and we’ll never be able to adore Jesus perfectly. But that’s okay, because we can claim in faith the perfect reverence of Mary and can approach the Lord with it. We can also make our own the adorations of Mary which She made and still makes in heaven, offering them to Jesus as our very own. A simple way of doing this might be to simply say within our minds when the Host is lifted up by the priest during the Mass: “Jesus I adore Thee with the Heart of Mary.”

5)      What about intentions? Well, as St. Louis de Montfort says, to truly devote ourselves to Mary we must desire and intend what Mary desires and what She intends. So that when we receive the Eucharist, we may hold whatever intentions we like, but we must let Mary be the Queen over these intentions, and we must bear the intention of receiving the Eucharist for Mary’s very own intentions. Her intentions which include the emptying of purgatory, making reparation to Her Immaculate Heart and the Sacred Heart of Her Son, the attaining of our salvation and sanctity, the spiritual wellbeing of every soul, the protection of our loved ones, and every other conceivable good thing in accord with the Will of God.

This might seem a bit hard for some of us, for we might be thinking: “What if Mary’s intentions are different to mine” or “If I offer this Communion for Mary’s intentions then my own intentions won’t be met.” There couldn’t be a less spiritual way of thinking, because Mary’s intentions are so big and so many, that they include our intentions, exceed our intentions, and encompass all good intentions, and even surpass all the good will and good intentions of every creature combined. For Mary’s intentions are the wellspring of God’s very own intentions – which is ultimately one – His Holy Will, which wills not only all good things, but Goodness Itself. Even if certain intentions of ours are not answered by God, or are contrary to Mary’s intentions, such intentions are not what is best for us or for others, and this we can be certain of, because there are two sayings, equally true: “God knows best”, and “mum is always right.” Now Mary will be very pleased with the soul who has offered its Communions for Her own intentions to be brought to fulfilment, and only Jesus can know the extent of the blessings He will lavish on such a soul whom so pleases His Mother.

6)      Finally, the most important thing that we can do in order to receive our Lord in the Eucharist with the perfect dispositions is to love Jesus with Mary’s very own love. We must simply take Mary’s Immaculate Heart and receive Jesus in, with and through this Immaculate Heart. To receive Jesus with Mary’s Heart and to love Him with Her Perfect Love, all we need is the intention to do so and to believe that it is so because we have intended so – it really is that simple. Thus in faith we can say, perhaps after receiving Communion: “Jesus I am imperfect, but I have exchanged my sinful heart with Mary’s Immaculate Heart, and thus I love you with very love same with which Mary loved you on earth, and with which Mary loves you now in heaven.”

‘Had I but Mary’s sinless heart’ vs. ‘I have dear Mary’s sinless heart’

There is a lovely hymn called “Jesus, My Lord, My God, My All”. Yet there’s a verse within this hymn which falls short of the sublime reality to which we are called and which is easily possible. I’ve nothing against the writer since it’s only recently that such a Marian understanding has blossomed in the Church. The verse reads as follows:

Had I but Mary’s sinless heart,

To love Thee with, my dearest King,

O with what bursts of fervent praise

Thy goodness Jesus, would I sing!

In light of a true devotion to Mary, this verse reflects a good but IMPERFECT attitude which is akin to sitting in a corner and twiddling our thumbs in a resignation to mediocrity. Contrarily, a perfect attitude could be had by which instead of bemoaning our lack of love and how we would praise Jesus like Mary if we could, we actually take action and lavish Jesus with Mary’s own Love and Mary’s own Praises by making Her Heart our own, and hiding our imperfect heart within Her Immaculate One. This is the very kind of action which Jesus and Mary want us to take! Thus an alternative translation is offered bellow. A translation which embodies this perfect way of Marian devotion through which we are able to love Jesus with Mary’s very own love:

I have dear Mary’s sinless heart,

To love Thee with, my dearest King,

So with fierce bursts of fervent praise

Thy goodness Jesus, do I sing!

Immaculate Heart of Mary

The critique of this particular hymn and the suggestion of a new translation of one of the verses is not about the hymn at all, but about our spiritual attitude in how we approach our Lord in the Eucharist. Why waste time winging about our poverty – our lack of love, our hardness of heart etc. – or waste time trying to build up our own love and soften our own heart, when we already have all that we need in Mary at our disposal, ready for our use? Of course this doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing, it simply means that whilst doing everything we can, we acknowledge that it amounts to nothing, yet realising at the same time that this nothingness of ours can be exchanged for all that Mary is and has, so that we (Mary in us) can please Jesus perfectly, especially in receiving Him in Holy Communion.

This Method Gives the Same Delight to Jesus that He found in Mary

Who can fathom the delight our Lord Jesus will take within us if we carry out this method of making Mary’s perfect dispositions our own? For if we do this, and we have nothing to lose, but everything to gain by doing so, our Lord will experience the same delight when He enters into our souls in Holy Communion as He did when He descended from heaven and took on flesh in the womb of Mary. He will receive the same joy He had when He entered Mary’s Heart in Holy Communion. He will receive the same love, thanksgiving, praise, and glory as He did from Mary throughout Her lifetime. For when we make Mary’s perfect dispositions our own – Her Faith, Trust, Humility, Reverence, Adorations, Intentions, and Love etc. – although it is still us who is receiving our Lord in Holy Communion, we are doing so in, with, and through Mary, so that in truth it is Mary who is receiving Jesus within us.

Mary’s Perfect Dispositions bear Perfect Fruits

It is true that we may not at first notice the fruits of our Holy Communions received in this sublime Marian way. Yet these fruits are there, even if we cannot perceive them, and in time we will grow aware of some of them – perhaps by a simple awareness that our confidence in God and peace of soul is different to how it was before. Still, we will never be able to perceive all of the fruits that this blessed method commended by the greatest saints in this modern time will have borne until we reach heaven – where we will see all of them.

So even if we seem no better than yesterday and the day before, but perhaps even worse, so long as we desire only God’s Will, do what we can in our lives, repent when we fall, constantly surrender our agendas to God, and practice a true devotion to Mary – especially in the way we receive Holy Communion and give thanks afterwards, then we can be sure that so long as we persevere – using Mary’s perseverance as our own – then in God’s time He will deliver us from our sinfulness and will bring us to that perfection for which we long. A perfection we already possess in Christ, in Mary, but which we must allow to grow within us through persevering in the spiritual life, and through letting Mary be the Mother of the Child Jesus who dwells within us. The very Child whom we receive in the Bread of the Altar.

Appendix 1: A Prayer of Intent Before Receiving Holy Communion

The following is a prayer one could recite before Mass, perhaps before one leaves home to attend Mass, or even just before Mass starts. One can make up their own prayer.

Come Holy Spirit and prepare me to receive my Sweet Jesus in Holy Communion.

Be still and silent and allow the Holy Spirit to prepare your soul.

I come to receive You my Jesus, on behalf of all; giving You Perfect and Eternal Love, Praise, Thanksgiving and Adoration, for it is You Yourself who will communicate; in, with and through me. Receive in my receiving Divine Will, as I receive my Lord in Holy Communion with the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

And although I approach You naked of myself; I come clothed in the Humility of Your swaddling clothes, in the Love of Your wounded flesh, and in the Glory of Your Resurrection. I place before You all the intentions of the Heart of our Mother, and the intentions of all men of good will – past, present and future; whilst asking for every grace and blessing necessary for the salvation and sanctification of all.

Finally, I fuse myself with all the Communions ever received: by the Apostles, by the priests, by poor sinners, by lukewarm souls, by the souls in purgatory, by the saints and by Yourself and the Blessed Virgin Mary; and I redo all these receptions for Your Glory through this my Holy Communion today. Amen.

Appendix 2: Biblical Allegory

On an allegorical level we read in the Book of Revelation and in Ezekiel of the fruits which will be borne within the soul who carries out this ‘secret method’ of using Mary’s perfect dispositions in receiving Holy Communion.

“Then he showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city” (Rev 22:1-2) – this refers to the waters of grace that we receive from Jesus the Lamb of God in the Eucharist which flows into the city of our souls. Ezekiel continues on the same theme: “And on the banks, on both sides of the river, there will grow all kinds of trees for food” (47:12a) – these trees refer to each time we receive Communion in such a manner, since every time we take Mary’s dispositions and make them our own a new spiritual tree is planted in the garden of our hearts – a tree which bears perfect fruits of virtue which serve as food for the Father’s delight, because such a tree absorbs perfectly the Water of Life who is Jesus in the Eucharist. This Water, who is Himself, Christ promises to give to us in Holy Communion: for “whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (Jn 4:14). The passage from Ezekiel continues: “Their leaves will not wither nor their fruit fail, but they will bear fresh fruit every month, because the water for them flows from the sanctuary” (47:12) – that is, the leaves of these trees (the dispositions of Mary) will remain within us, nor will the fruit borne from our Holy Communions received by means of Mary fail to grow, for these fruits will blossom “every month” – that is, constantly – because in one sense Mary is the Tree(s) of Life within us which absorb perfectly the water of grace we receive in Holy Communion. We all admire a lovely garden paved with fresh grass and which is checkered with all kinds of flowers, trees and plants. The pleasure we receive from such physical gardens is but a shadow of the pleasure our Heavenly Father takes in the soul whose interior garden flourishes with the Perfect Fruits of the Blessed Virgin. We must only allow the tree(s) of our devotion to Mary to grow, so that these fruits may multiply.

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[1] Benedict XVI, Homily on the occasion of the Solemnity of Corpus Christi, 7 June, 2012, http://w2.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/homilies/2012/documents/hf_ben-xvi_hom_20120607_corpus-domini.html.

Lent Hath Come: Getting to the Heart of It

 With Ash Wednesday the focal point, the following article outlines the 'letter' of Lent and explores what is involved in order to live out the 'spirit' of Lent, involving the concept of a 'broken heart'.

'The Fight Between Carnival and Lent', Pieter Bruegel the Elder, 1559.

 

 Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent which ends on Easter. The ‘Daily Missal’ provides a neat little introduction:

Today we commence the season of Lent, a time of preparation for the great feast of Easter. During Lent, we give special attention to prayer (attending to quality more so than quantity), fasting (emptying ourselves that we may be filled with the life and love of Christ) and good deeds (not to win admiration for ourselves but to help others). Though it has a penitential character, Lent is a joyful season as we anticipate the resurrection of the Lord.

Penitential Requirements

For Roman Catholics the binding minimal penitential requirements of Ash Wednesday involves abstinence from meat (mammal, fowl, and soups/gravies/broth made from them), and fasting – defined as no more than one full meal, and two small snacks the combination of which would amount to less than one ordinary full meal. Catholics are encouraged to follow stricter fasting according to their capacity, but it is not morally binding. Seafood such as fish, shellfish etc. is permitted to be eaten, but it ought to be simple if it is eaten.

In Australia and the United States those who have completed their fourteenth year are bound to abstain; and those who have completed their eighteenth year and not yet commenced their sixtieth year are bound to abstain and fast. Of course due to illness or some other suitable condition where nourishment is sorely needed, one is made exempt from the obligation to fast. Ash Wednesday is not a holy day of obligation in Australia or the United States, but it is highly recommended to attend Mass – there will be numerous times made available in your local parishes.

All of the above requirements are the same for Good Friday. Throughout Lent (universal exemption for solemnities occurring during Lent, i.e. St. Joseph, 19^th March, and St. Patrick, 17^th March in Australia) there are three practical pillars which ought to especially mark the season: prayer, alms giving (charity) and penance.

Living the Spirit of Lent

The above falls under what we might call ‘the letter of Lent’ (i.e. the outward rules and practice) which is important to follow insofar as we are able. Yet to fulfill ‘the letter of Lent’ is vain and pointless unless it is accompanied by an interior motive arising from the heart. To carry out our Lent in this manner – from the heart, and not just outwardly ‘ticking the boxes’ – is to live ‘the Spirit of Lent’.

We use a capital ‘S’ for ‘Spirit’ since this Spirit is none other than the Holy Spirit who drove Jesus into the wilderness after His baptism, where He fasted for forty days and nights.

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And he fasted forty days and forty nights (Mt 4:1-2a).

These forty days which Jesus spent in the wilderness served as the inspiration for the annual practice of Lent which the Church has practiced in varying ways since the beginning – over two thousand years ago.

'Christ in the Desert', Ivan Kramskoi, 1872.

On Ash Wednesday, in imitation of Jesus, we are called to especially surrender to the Holy Spirit so that He might drive us into the spiritual desert of repentance – which involves ‘a turning towards God’ in trusting joy, and a ‘turning away from sin’ out of sorrowful love. This dual aspect of repentance, involving a turning away from sin and a turning toward the good, is expressed in the words that may be said during the application of the ashes on the forehead: “Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.”

Jesus was sinless, and so He spent His forty days and nights – His Lent as it were – in penance in reparation for our sins, and in preparation for His public ministry. We are not sinless, for as St. John says: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 Jn 1:8). The Christian then, is not one who is without sin, but one who is a sinner who acknowledges this fact and who also believes in the unconditional love and forgiveness of God.

Not only must we reform ourselves, and allow the Lord to renovate our souls through His secret outpouring of grace in prayer, but during Lent we ought to make reparation for the sins of others. There is much to make reparation for, and in solidarity with the rest of the world, as sinners ourselves, we can offer small acts of prayer, penance and love on behalf of others, the living and the dead, even offering up our own joys, sorrows and struggles. This activity of reparation gets the focus off of ourselves - something which can happen in Lent if we're not careful. Praying for others, and offering alms and fasting to God in the spirit of prayer on behalf of others too, is the best way to ensure we don't focus on the unholy trinity of 'me, myself, and I.'

The "desert" season of Lent is a time of preparing ourselves for our ‘public ministry’ just like Jesus. We unite and participate in Jesus' very own Lenten observance in the wilderness. A ‘public ministry’ which will vary for all of us, but which is ultimately our vocation and lifestyle. Lent then is a time to beg the Holy Spirit to renew our spiritual fervour to establish the Kingdom of God – the reign of truth, peace and love – in our midst, in our own little lives, homes, families, communities, countries and world. In the desert of Lent we cry to be aflame with love for God and neighbour alike – with a love which imparts joy, not misery to those around us, and is filled with goodwill towards others, not harsh judgment, resentment and bitter speech.

In this time we ask anew Christ to live in us anew, praying that His joyful love would flow through us in our reaching out to those we meet in the streets, at the shops, at our parish, school, university, and hardest of all – at our very own home, and among those who are the most familiar – since it is often easier to love a stranger, but harder to love those we know well. For it is the latter against whom familiarity often weighs our hearts down with little stones of indifference or resentment.

“I Desire Love not Sacrifice”

Summarising what living out Lent in the Spirit consists, we read in the first reading from the Mass of the day in the Book of Joel: “Let your hearts be broken not your garments torn” (2:13). What is meant by garments torn? Allegorically it refers to all of those things which Catholics commonly give up for Lent – chocolate, desert, facebook, alcohol, video games, ‘eating out’ etc. These acts of penance are good, but Lent does not consist in such acts alone. God says elsewhere: “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice” (Hos 6:6a). In other words, God only wants our sacrifices insofar as they are a sign of our love for Him, and insofar as such metaphorical Lenten ‘garment tearing’ is a mere accompaniment to our desire and motive to love God and our neighbour more intensely and more perfectly.

Our hearts are so hard because through our pride and selfishness we harden it. We find it so easy to snarl at people behind their backs, perhaps under the guise of ‘harmless chatter’ or ‘letting others know so that we can pray for them’. We find it so easy to bear a grudge for years on end. We find it so easy to refrain from greeting and smiling at those in our own household, or at those we meet. We find it easy to find time for ourselves to do what we want, but find so little time to visit elderly or sick relatives, or needy ones in our community. We’re imperfect people and thus even without knowing it we bear countless stones of indifference and resentment – against both God and neighbour alike, for the two cannot be divorced. If we are to give up anything this Lent these must be the things we take priority ‘to get rid of’.

Getting to the Heart of It

Let us search our hearts for the many stones that weight us down, the many weeds which sap our spiritual strength, the many good seedlings of inspirations we’ve failed to plant, to carry out; and the many chains of unhealthy attachment that tie us down.

Who do we still hold a grudge against? We must cast away such stones of resentment through forgiving such people in our heart. We may not feel like we’ve forgiven them, but forgiveness consists in the free will’s choice to forgive, and that is what forgiveness actually is. By saying out loud: “I forgive this person for that, that persons for that etc.” with the intent of meaning what one says – even if one doesn’t feel like one means it – then that is forgiveness. It is only in time, through God’s hidden love, that inner healing takes place so that sooner or later we may arrive at feeling we’ve forgiven those who’ve wittingly or unwittingly wounded us. How free and light is a heart which holds no resentments! By holding unto such stones of grudges we do not harm our offenders, we only harm ourselves.

Do we have a terrible habit of being ‘nasty people’ who speak ill of others? Let us pray to God to be delivered from this evil. He alone can uproot such a weed that grows in the human heart and overshadows the healthy plants. To do so, God only needs us to 1) ask for this grace of being delivered from this evil habit, and 2) to bear the firm resolve to speak positively of others, and to never uncover our neighbour’s sins in our conversations. If we repeat both these things, repenting when we fail, and keep it up, God's meekness will bit by bit overcome our vitriol, covering it up. As St. Peter writes: “Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Pet 4:8).

Have we been neglecting certain needy people whom our conscience whispers we should visit or assist? Perhaps there has been such a pot plant sitting on the shelf of our heart, waiting and calling out to be planted and brought to the soil of reality. When we die we will be judged not on how wealthy we are, nor how popular, intellectual, artistic, or financially or socially savvy we are, but we will be judged solely based on our fidelity to the truth that resounds in our conscience, a conscience we are obliged to bring to maturity through the pursuit of finding moral and existential truth. And how do we remain faithful to our conscience in the simplest sense? By loving, and one way we accomplish this is by reaching out to those whom God has placed in or around our lives with hospitality, friendship, charity, and a helping hand. We can only assist those on the other side of the globe with prayer and alms giving, but we can do much more for those around us.

'Holding Stone Heart', St. Takla (web).

Are we looking to be served and understood by others, or to serve and to understand others? Many times we complain about how misunderstood we are and how under appreciated and how much in need of being catered to we are; but all of this negative kind of thinking does naught but host oneself a pity party which invites the few yet overbearing guests of melancholy, bitterness, resentment, discouragement, and egoism into one’s heart. Our remedy must lie in nourishing ourselves with the example of the Crucified Christ (which we literally do by consuming and adoring our Lord in the Eucharist), who whilst dying amid atrocious spasms and unspeakable pains thought only of us, and our welfare – giving us His life, His honour, and His Mother as our own.

Thus if we throw away the stones of selfish thoughts – many of which society applauds as necessary and beneficial – and instead think of how we can ‘serve’ others, then we will find instead of hosting a miserable pity party that leads to avoidable melancholy, we will be hosting a banquet in our heart to which God, and Jesus through all of our neighbours will be invited to feast at. Feasting upon its rich foods of kind words, wholesome laughter, generosity, gentleness, and helpfulness; accompanied with the fine wines of sincerity and selflessness. Who among us can resist the company of people who at least somewhat manage to host such banquets, by which they offer every kind of good thing to those they meet? We must beg God to let us be such people, and unless we turn to prayer our efforts at hosting such interior banquets that provide tangible delicacies will be vain – for God alone is Perfect, and His Virtues alone can meet the appetite of the human soul – an appetite which craves to be loved with an eternal love, and to be happy forever. We can mediate such love and joy to the world if we join with God in prayer.

Are there certain habits which are sapping our spiritual strength? All unhealthy habits are noxious weeds that grow in the soil of our soul, sapping the grace of God from our hearts so that we're left feeling deep inside our hearts either wholly or partly 'hollow', 'discontent' and 'restless' - for God is the Meaning, Happiness and Peace the human heart craves. Are there certain things we’re doing which we know are sinful, or at least imperfect, and yet still we persist in acting thus? Are we Catholic yet fail to follow Church teaching on topics such as contraception, chastity before marriage, yearly confession, and so forth? If so, we already know that we must give such bad things up, and do what needs to be done.

If whenever we pull up such weeds they seem to regrow, then it is a sign that we are relying on our own strength instead of God’s strength through a daily and constant prayer life. If we are doing our best, praying, attending Mass at least on Sunday and perhaps even daily, frequenting the sacrament of confession, and helping those we can, and still certain weeds seem to reappear whenever we pull them up, then we must simply persevere, persist in surrendering to God, confident that He will help us in His own time – in the meantime such a habit we want to shake can be our own cross to offer up. We must learn to allow God to do the weep pulling, for whilst we can pull up certain obvious and large weeds, only God can successfully pull up their roots, and He alone can pull up weeds which are entangled with the good plants without doing them any harm, as well as those weeds which are either so small we cannot see, or that we don't even recognise as weeds, but mistake for good plants.

Are there certain people we keep company with who are tying us down or certain relationships dragging us down into sin? Perhaps we need to distance ourselves from certain people, or moderate our relationships with others. Maybe we need to break off a certain romantic relationship or introduce certain reforms of behaviour. Perhaps we have to stop hanging around a certain place which feeds our vices. Friends are good if they build us up and help us grow into better people. If the people we hang around with tear us down and only bring out the worst in us – then as far as we are able to we need to find ourselves different people to associate with. For a man who associates with someone infected with rabies, although he be healthy, will sooner or later become infected. Yet a fit man who associates with robust individuals who love to exercise, will become even more fit, since they will all encourage him and even ask him to join them in exercise. Likewise, kindness and nastiness alike, good and bad habits alike, are caught from those we choose to befriend ourselves with. We’re all imperfect, and God alone is our Perfect companion – thus this doesn’t mean we must shun everyone on the face of the earth, nor avoid helping those who have bad habits through either their own fault or no fault of their own – it simply means we should choose who we associate with as friends – avoiding frequent and voluntary communion with those who are an excessively bad influence.

Do we have a real relationship with God our Creator? Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Perhaps we do not believe in Him, or we have lost faith in His existence, or are simply unsure. There’s a simple method involving two things that can be done on the part of the atheist, agnostic or wavering believer; the only prerequisite is that one must simply have a desire to know and believe in God under the condition "if He does exist" (spoiler alert: He does).

 1) Shut yourself away in a quiet place by yourself, and pray, perhaps by saying to God: “If you exist God give me the faith to believe you exist and open my heart to the truth of your Presence” or “I don’t know if you exist, but I surrender myself to you, and ask you to help me, to establish a relationship with me if you exist.” Or, “I don’t know about this Catholic faith, but if it’s the true faith teach me and bring me into it.” 

2) Act according to what your conscience tells you, you are in need of changing and doing in your life, and be ruthlessly honest with yourself.

If someone is sincere I doubt a single person will fail by such a method to find God, and God willing, the beauty of the Catholic faith in which He is found most fully and richly. For we may decry that we don’t or can’t know God, but few of us sincerely invite Him into our lives or make room for Him by following our conscience and sound morality. We may also hold a false idea of God, hating not God Himself but hating ‘our concept of God’ or the concept others have implanted in us of God – thinking that He is evil, a harsh judge etc. Don’t we hate it when someone judges us without even meeting us? Poor God, almost everyone has put a label on Him without first having met Him in the silent cavern of their soul!

Do we have any attachments to anything or anyone other than God? Attachments to anything or anyone other than God are like chains that tie us down to the world and prevent us from rising up in freedom of spirit to God above who dwells within. To be attached to people - relatives, friends, spouses, girl friends, boy friends etc. - is acclaimed as a virtue by the world since it is confused with authentic love. To be detached from people requires us to not remain indifferent to them, not at all, but rather to put God first if ever such decisions must be made, and to love all people not for their own sake or for one's own sake, but for the sake of God and their true good (even if they don't think so). This heavenly love is selfless and self-forgetful.

If we are attached to certain people, and we are all bound to be - even if we aren't, such attachments can easily return - we must pray that God would detach us from them, for only then can we begin to be truly free to love them selflessly without being dependent or expectant on their loving us in return. By letting go of others and asking God to give us His perfect love for them, we do not lose our own personal love for those dear to us, but we receive back from God our own personal love transformed, purified, and magnified by a divine love.

Then there are attachments to "things". Perhaps we are attached to temporal goods, such as food, wine, money, concerts, movies; or to natural goods, such as our own knowledge, skills, 'good looks', personality; or even to spiritual goods, such as to consolations in prayer, religious objects, a certain church, certain ways of praying, insights in prayer. All of these temporal, natural and spiritual goods are good and harmless in and of themselves, and can be used, if used correctly and in moderation, for the glory of God. But if we find ourselves delighting in any of these things for their own sake, and not for God's sake; or if any of these things is taken away from us and we become inordinately upset and interiorly disturbed,  then we are most certainly attached to them, and thus some form of chain, rope or thread is holding us down, restricting us in that freedom and joy of the Spirit to which we are called. As St. John of the Cross said, even the smallest thread is enough to prevent a bird from taking flight. We must desire then to break these attachments, begging God each and every day to cut us free. We can even pray, "In Jesus' Name I cut off all attachments." We must rejoice in all things, whether temporal, natural or spiritual, for God's sake alone. It sounds like we're setting the bar too high, but we're all called to be saints, and the saints didn't start out perfect, they were simply sinners like all of us who reached perfection by never saying no to God, but always yes, even when it hurt - seeking only His Will and dying to their own. Thanksgiving is the easiest way to get a start - to thank God for anything and everything, right down to a good, even a bad cup of tea. Thanksgiving orientates our will to God as opposed to the "thing" as an end in itself.

Have we failed to cultivate the bonsai plant of a daily and constant prayer life? Maybe we do believe in God, but our relationship with God is like those marriages that are dry, stagnant, and where routine and frankness rather than romantic warmth has become the norm. Such marriages do not need divorce, they are simply in desperate need of a new flare and awakening – a holiday, a couple’s marriage retreat, the giving up of a joint sin etc. Likewise the solution to make a dry and bland relationship with God, which is built on routine (i.e. going to Mass) or intellectual musings (i.e. theological study), rather than a personal love for God that diffuses into all the sectors of one’s life,  and which involves Mass and study as an expression of such love - is to establish a daily and constant prayer life.

How can someone expect a marriage to keep aflame if the couple don’t spend time together, go out together, give gifts to one another, serve one another etc.? How long would a marriage last if the husband came home and literally ignored every word their wife said? Of if he refused to eat the meal made for him, and ate instead some potato chips? Or if he rejected he’s wife’s tokens of love, all for no apparent reason whatsoever? Or simply because he wanted to play some video game or watch the sport? Such behaviour for moments at a time or for a few hours isn’t ideal, but it wouldn’t rupture the bond; although it would chip away at it. But what if such behaviour continued for a whole day, or for days on end, or weeks or years; with at the most a little conversation here and there? It would be a miracle if such a marriage lasted, and would take a saint of a wife to persevere with such a loafer. Perhaps such a wife might say: “Whatever his faults, and despite the fact he shows me no love, I love him and will stick by my man”. 

Perhaps the world would advise such a woman to drop such a man like a hot potato (remember we’re not talking here of a husband who is abusive to his wife, but who is emotionally and romantically despondent). But no one can deny that there is something noble in a love which is so devoted to the other and which perseveres despite the despondency of the other. God is like such a wife, since He sticks by us no matter what. He has joined us to Himself in His Son Jesus Christ and thus "If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself" (2 Tim 2:13). It is only us who turn away from Him, either never proposing to Him (inviting Him into our lives), or kicking Him out of our lives through serious and habitual sin. Some poor souls haven't even been told about Him - and if they have, they were not told in the right and passionate manner - but in a dull, arrogant or ignorant way. But for most practicing Catholics the situation is like this: we live with Him, but without even been aware of this, and without ever turning to Him or only when we want something, spending days at a time without communing with Him. 

We are therefore often like such a despondent husband, and the way to remedy this, is to ask the Holy Spirit to shake up our relationship with God, and to ask for the grace to persevere in prayer every day, and acting on it with the resolve to never forgo a day without prayer – to spend time with God to not only ask for favours, but to praise, thank, love and rest in Him, through words, silence, and reflecting on holy things.

Maybe he’s calling us to commit to a daily Rosary, to attend Mass more often – daily even, to read the Scriptures more frequently, and/or to commit to a weekly Holy Hour of Eucharistic Adoration. Whatever ‘extra’ prayer He’s calling us to is one thing, but whatever the case, He’s calling us to daily prayer and to love Him with His own love in so doing.

Maybe we do pray daily, and some of the 'extra' things we could do resonate within us. Among the most important tenants of daily prayer is some form of prayer in the morning, even if it's just a Hail Mary and a request for God to be with us in the day ahead; and some form of night prayer before we sleep. If we are not in a religious community that has a set prayer life, it is also important for every Christian, every Catholic, to choose a set time or period during the day (otherwise we can easily miss it), as a time for prayer. 30 minutes is ideal, 15 or 20 minutes a start. During this time we might include a Rosary, ask help, intercede for others, say sorry and/or give thanks. There's plently of possibilities. We can even set our phone on a timer for the set time to make it easier for us to commit and to help us stop looking at the time every second. We can even carry out our daily prayer session when we can in a Holy Hour of Eucharistic Adoration, or else before the Tabernacle.

Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes

On Ash Wednesday one of the phrases that may be used when the ashes are applied to the forehead are “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” The Church, based on Scripture, asks us to remember our lowly state and our pending death. Precious is the gift of time that consists of moments which come and go, never to be had again. In this season of Lent we are to prepare ourselves for death, and not only this, but to begin our process of dying here and now to what is evil, imperfect and what doesn’t matter, so that we might begin, and grow, in our process of living here and now to what is good, perfect and does matter – Love, and God is Love.

Who among us wants to lie on our death bed with a slate half clean? Or with several resentments up our sleeve, or the regret that we didn’t store up treasure in heaven through prayer, charity and penance, but storing only treasure on earth? It is possible in Jesus, through our Lady, to lie to sleep each night, with a clean slate, free of every worry and guilt – thus we need not even wait till the unknown time of our death. Our Lord only says: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mt 7:7).

This little reminder of death placed on our forehead isn’t depressing, since yes, we are dust and to dust we shall return – for our bodies will fade away. But firstly, our souls are immortal, and shall go to the one whom we lived for in this life. And secondly, as Christians we believe that on that Last Day our bodies will be raised from the dead – fresh, remade, and youthful; clothed in the light of God’s glory – in order to be reunited with our souls for all eternity. An eternity which shall not be tedious, but a series of ever new and bewildering ecstasies of joy and love. Lent is therefore a time of joyful preparation to receive this mystery into our hearts, and to rekindle our faith in the meaning of the resurrection. The liturgical preparatory anticipation of Lent preceding Easter Sunday reflects our anticipation for our bodily resurrection and its spiritual fruition in our souls with God’s divinising grace.

Conclusion: The Beauty and Power of a Broken Heart

“Let your hearts be broken not your garments torn” (Joel 2:13a). This verse encapsulates the Spirit of Lent. Our hearts are like jars of perfume which we must smash in passionate love against the Rock who is Christ our Lord. The Father pines for this fragrance of unique worship, and the Holy Spirit becomes Himself the sweet fragrance we offer up to God. What good is perfume if it remains sealed? Why moderate our use and pour out little droplets at a time? Lent is a time to remind us to moderate ourselves in all good things, in all things, that is, except love. Since we must love to excess, we must love wildly and without measure. God doesn’t care about our giving up chocolate or the internet, or even deeds of charity and prayerful devotion (note) for their own sake– for these are ‘torn garments’. Nor does God ask for our hearts, but for our broken hearts – broken out of love for His Holy Face and Holy Name. A heart broken with sorrow for sin and passionate desire for intimacy with God. He only wants our love, and our sacrifices are pleasing to Him, only to the degree that they are smeared with the perfume of His love.

The smashing of the jar of ointment implied in the Gospel account where Mary Magdalene (Lk 7:37-38, 44-50)  anointed the feet of Jesus and wept over them and dried them with her hair, was a favourite theme of St. Therese of the Child Jesus (‘The Little Flower’). A theme which she understood to refer to the shattering of one’s heart out of unbridled love for God. She writes in her poem, ‘Living on Love’:

Living on Love is imitating Mary,

Bathing your divine feet that she kisses, transported.

With tears, with precious perfume,

She dries them with her long hair…

Then standing up, she shatters the vase,

And in turn she anoints your Sweet Face.

As for me, the perfume with which I anoint your Face

Is my Love!....

On this same very theme and in regards to the beauty and desperate need of a broken heart, Oscar Wilde, after his imprisonment, and in an expression of gladness following his repentance, writes in ‘The Ballad of Reading Gaol’ (1898):

And every human heart that breaks,

In prison-cell or yard,

Is as that broken box that gave

It’s treasure to the Lord,

And filled the unclean leper’s house

With the scent of costliest nard.

Ah! happy they whose hearts can break

And peace of pardon win!

How else may man make straight his plan

And cleanse his soul from Sin?

How else but through a broken heart

May Lord Christ enter in?

Indeed God will delight in anything and everything we do and give up for Him –including all those little sacrifices, prayers and alms giving – if indeed all such things are thickly doused in the perfume of God’s Divine Love, gushing forth from our broken heart made one and united with the broken Hearts' of Jesus, Mary and Joseph – hearts' which pleased God infinitely, since they loved infinitely.

“Let your hearts be broken not your garments torn, turn to the Lord again." Let us never tire of turning back to Him, especially in this Lenten season – “for He is all tenderness and compassion, slow to anger, rich in graciousness.” (Joel 2:13).