This article focuses on the vocation of motherhood and womanhood
(looking also at fatherhood and manhood), in light of Mary's role as
Mother, Sister and Midwife, drawing on the Visitation account.
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| "Visitation," at the Museo Matris Domini, 1320-30, Wikicommons. |
WHEN MARY was visited by the Archangel Gabriel, receiving
the revelation and the concrete realisation of her motherhood of the Word, she was
also informed about the pregnancy of her cousin Elizabeth. We read that she
went “with haste,” animated by zealous sisterly charity, to help in the preparation
for the birth of the Baptist.
Luke tells us that Elizabeth “was advanced in years,” “in
her old age,” thus at the very least comfortably past the years of fertility (Lk
1:7,36). This explains why Zechariah her husband doubted the news when Gabriel told
it to him. Elizabeth was not just barren (1:7) but had gone through menopause.
Mary’s visitation to Elizabeth is animated by a desire to
assist a fellow sister in the Semitic sense, and faithfully fulfils the
cultural norm whereby a woman relation would help another in the role of moral
support and midwife, even if Mary might not have been the only one. Mary’s
haste in going to visit Elizabeth is likely motivated in part by the added need
of Elizabeth for help. After all, Elizabeth is “in her old age”. Old age plus pregnancy
equals a lot of support needed!
The gift of Mary’s motherhood was realised once she
pronounced “Yes” to the proposal to conceive the Word by the Holy Spirit. The
fact that in the same revelation whereby Mary received the gift of her
motherhood that the secret motherhood of Elizabeth is also revealed, teaches us
something about the gift of motherhood. This in addition to the interconnected revelations
of Zechariah and Joseph concerning their respective paternity. Motherhood does
not exist in isolation. Like any vocation, it is not an individualistic vocation,
it is not something merely bestowed upon an individual woman. Motherhood is intrinsically
relational. It includes not just the bond between mother and child—the child
the simultaneous fruit and source of motherhood; a relational horizon to which
modern society often reduces motherhood to; but it also includes the bond
between husband and wife, father and child, and the trinal dynamic between all
three.
According to the natural order and ideal ordained by God,
a wife receives the gift of motherhood from her husband, in the same very act
in which she receives that part of the life needed to form the child in her womb.
Alas, this can sound shocking to modern ears! A secular blasphemy against the individualistic
and reductionist view of motherhood. But hang on… in turn, the wife gives to
her husband the gift of his fatherhood. In this view no one can claim their maternity
nor paternity as a self-created phenomenon that exists outside of relationality
and the integral complementarity between the sexes. Thus neither maternity or
paternity are brought into existence with warring rights, as though ordered toward hostility against one another as the cultural Marxist narrative would have us believe,
but rather, with a shared and common responsibly, with shared and common rights, and a shared dignity resting on a single foundation.
Motherhood is given to woman by God, through man, and fatherhood is given to man by God, through woman. The perfect objective exercise of these parental vocations depends upon the loving cooperation between both parties, relying on the gratitude of man for woman, and woman for man, honed-in as such gratitude is on a concrete “wife” and “husband” and on the fruit of their union—the child.
Motherhood is given to woman by God, through man, and fatherhood is given to man by God, through woman. The perfect objective exercise of these parental vocations depends upon the loving cooperation between both parties, relying on the gratitude of man for woman, and woman for man, honed-in as such gratitude is on a concrete “wife” and “husband” and on the fruit of their union—the child.
In Mary’s instance the physical agency of man was substituted
with the moral agency of Joseph, God working super-naturally, beyond the
natural order. In Elizabeth’s, and all other mothers’ instance, the physical
agency of a man is involved.
We live in a fallen world. Thus, unfortunately, without there being any place for us to judge, things do not always go according to the natural design nor does reproduction always transpire in a context of love, but sometimes in fractured relations, the laboratory, or through sexual violence. Then there's simply instances of one parent dying prematurely. In all such cases the perfect objective exercise of motherhood and fatherhood cannot be realised, and instead, a perfect subjective exercise of either vocation remains possible, with or without mutual cooperation between natural parents, but the exercise of either a mother or a father will not attain relative perfection if hatred and resentment abides between the parents of a child and/or of one sex against the other.
We live in a fallen world. Thus, unfortunately, without there being any place for us to judge, things do not always go according to the natural design nor does reproduction always transpire in a context of love, but sometimes in fractured relations, the laboratory, or through sexual violence. Then there's simply instances of one parent dying prematurely. In all such cases the perfect objective exercise of motherhood and fatherhood cannot be realised, and instead, a perfect subjective exercise of either vocation remains possible, with or without mutual cooperation between natural parents, but the exercise of either a mother or a father will not attain relative perfection if hatred and resentment abides between the parents of a child and/or of one sex against the other.
Only the rock of love and forgiveness serves as a stable
foundation for a relationship, including the relation between mother and child,
father and child. To build such a relation on envy and bitterness against anyone,
especially of a mother against the father of her child, and a father against
the mother of his child, even when humanly justified, will only be to build one’s
relationship with their child on sand. The child will grow insecure, since a
parent’s love, if poisoned by a lack of forgiveness, cannot be fortified by God’s
love which can only enter in power within a forgiving heart.
Nevertheless, through the mystery of the Crucified Christ the
absence of one parent’s love or even both, can serve as wounds through which a
child can grow in receptivity to the love of God as Father who pours out His
love in the full maternal and paternal power of His Spirit. Ideally however,
the love of two parents, a mother and a father, nurtures a child and through
natural parallels disposes their child to the higher and supreme love of God.
However, motherhood does not exist in the vacuum of the
nuclear family. Of course, the “nuclear family” consisting of the trinal
relational of mother, father and child, is its sanctuary, but just like the
temple of old, the sanctuary formed only a part of the temple, the main part,
but not the only part.
As mentioned previously, Mary’s motherhood was revealed
to her simultaneous to Elizabeth’s motherhood. This reveals to us that the
vocation of motherhood (the same with fatherhood, but we’ll focus on motherhood
here) is intrinsically shared: first with God, the Maker of all things, and
secondly, with fellow women who are mothers. The motherhood of one woman is
intrinsically ordered towards a communis sororitas, a common sisterhood,
a sisterly communion, what could also be called a communio matrum, the
communion of mothers. Such a communion is of course not divorced from the Communio
Sanctorum, the Communion of Saints, nor is it somehow separated from or at
odds with the unique sub-communion/s between men, but simply describes a sub-communion,
a special shared relation between those called to motherhood—and all woman are,
at least spiritually, if not, physically.
Indeed, the Body of Christ is One, and there is one Communio,
but this does not take away from the unique and distinct relations, communiones,
friendships if you will, that abide between various members of this Body, who while
all One, are also many. Each member of Christ’s Body shares in unique relations
with each and every other member of this Body and some of these relations can
be grouped and are likewise shared with others. The martyrs share a unique small
“c” communio with other martyrs. The holy virgins with their fellow
virgins. Priests with their fellow priests. Those who are mothers with other
mothers, and so on. These communiones are concrete relational horizons
of participation in the Communion of Saints, and since each communio is
part of a concrete participation in the Communion of Saints, it is not
something that must wait for heaven. It is a reality within our mortal lives
too, integral to our identity and vocation. We must seek it out, and nurture such fellowships in order to grow as persons.
Thus, without denigrating the fraternity between men and women, men should also seek fellowship with other men, fathers with other fathers; and women should seek fellowship with other women, mothers with other mothers. This is how we are strengthened to grow as the men and women, fathers and mothers (physical and/or spiritual), we are called to be.
Thus, without denigrating the fraternity between men and women, men should also seek fellowship with other men, fathers with other fathers; and women should seek fellowship with other women, mothers with other mothers. This is how we are strengthened to grow as the men and women, fathers and mothers (physical and/or spiritual), we are called to be.
As Mary came to Elizabeth’s aid so too Mary comes to each
woman’s aid to help her live out her maternal office. Mary comes to mothers to
help them be mothers after God’s own heart. To become both mothers and saints.
Mary comes to all women, perhaps yet to have their
natural vocation to motherhood fulfilled, or who have been called to fulfil it only
spiritually along the path of consecrated religious life or in a single life of
godly dedication or in a marriage stuck with the heavy cross of infertility.
Mary is there for every woman. Yes, Mary is there for
every person, every human being, man or woman. But human beings do not exist in
the abstract (although, human nature as a universal does exist in the mind of God), instead, in concrete reality, human beings exist as either men or women. “Male and female he created
them” (Gen 1:27). Even those born with intersex organs or who are confused
about their biological sex are either one or the other (pastoral care, patience and sensitivity are needed to help guide such persons towards a direction of understanding their own innate, natural and God-appointed sex). Thus, just as Mary
comes to each man as a woman coming to assist a man; Mary comes to a woman as a
woman coming to a woman, as a Mother coming to a mother. She comes as a sister
to work alongside her sister to help her love the Lord Jesus and to raise
children in the faith—whether biological children, or other souls. Mary comes
as a midwife to help each woman in her time of pregnancy and birth, but more importantly,
to help each woman in giving birth to the love of Christ in the world, in each
woman’s home, family, workplace and community. Mary wants to teach each woman
the art of nurturing love in the hearts of men. From their fathers, to their
husbands, to their sons, and in all souls, male or female, nurturing such love
through a life of service and prayer.
Both Mary and Elizabeth shared peculiar circumstances. The
gift of their motherhood was given in unusual contexts. Mary was a virgin, her
motherhood was substantially a divine gift, and its existence was precarious in
view of the misunderstanding of human minds. Thus, Joseph was appointed to veil
the gift of Mary’s unique motherhood, to help it grow freely in hiddenness.
Elizabeth on the other hand was a barren woman past the age of child rearing, and yet beyond the dictates of nature she received the gift of motherhood, having to struggle with the difficulty and nuances "old age" brings to such a vocation.
Elizabeth on the other hand was a barren woman past the age of child rearing, and yet beyond the dictates of nature she received the gift of motherhood, having to struggle with the difficulty and nuances "old age" brings to such a vocation.
Throughout the Old Testament we come across various
mothers whose motherhood was intricately tied to suffering and difficulty. We
need only think of the matriarchs, Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah. All these suffered with barrenness, and each in their turn was healed and brought forth
offspring. Elizabeth shared literally in the lot of her maternal forbears, and Mary
too in respect to relying on the miraculous intervention of God the Father, working
through the Holy Spirit, in the Person of the God the Son.
Then there’s Eve. Eve suffered the loss of a son, the
innocent and righteous Abel. Mary too suffered the loss of her Son, the
Righteous and Innocent One.
All the matriarchs, Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah, including
Eve, all these also suffered the maternal pain of experiencing divisions between
their biological and/or legal children. Cain against Abel, the descendants of Cain
against Shem’s, the tension between Isaac and Ishmael, the animosity of Esau
against Jacob, of the sons of Leah against each other, and above all against Joseph,
the son of Leah.
Mary too suffers the maternal pain of seeing her children
at odds with one another. The world is not a peaceful place, and the division
that fractures the communion of Christians from the Catholic Church, and the
internal divisions on top of that, breaks Mary’s heart as a Mother.
There is no experience of any mother, any woman, that at its
core, Mary has not suffered. She suffers in communion, in solidarity, with
every man as a woman, as a fellow human being, and so too with every woman as a fellow
human being, a fellow woman.
Whoever we are, man or woman, Mary comes as Mother,
Sister and Midwife. The way a woman shares with Mary, and receives God’s grace
through Mary, according to these three aspects will be a little different to
how a man does so, paralleling the different role Elizabeth played compared to Joseph or to Zechariah,
and vice versa, in the visitation narrative.
Regardless, we are all called to invite Mary into our hearts,
homes and lives, and she will come. Not that she isn’t already present, but how
much more actively can Mary fulfil her God-appointed role in our lives if we let
her and ask her to.
Whatever the difficulties of our lives, no matter whether
we are male or female, called to be mothers or fathers, called to live this vocation
out naturally and supernaturally, or only supernaturally, if we welcome Mary
into our lives, as God so wants us to, we will come to enter into the joy of
the One whom Mary infallibly brings—Christ the Lord. It is God who sent Mary to
Elizabeth through her conviction of love of neighbour, and it is God who sends Mary
to us through the conviction of her love for us. In turn, Mary brings the one who
sent her, even as the one who sends her already abides in us.
Those who call upon Mary, in vocal prayer or in the silence
of their heart, can be confident that Mary and the fruit of her womb is with
them in a special way, and so too her hidden spouse, St. Joseph, all three
mediating and witnessing to the presence of the Holy Trinity.
For those who pray the Rosary, the Rosary is as it were, a sign of the umbilical cord that ties the child to its Mother, a bracelet shared between siblings, the hand of a help-maid. Those who pray the Rosary are nourished by Mary as Mother, accompanied by Mary as Sister, and strengthened by Mary as Midwife in enduring the labour pangs of the cross, appointed to every Christian.
However we do so, those who call on Mary, whether they feel Mary’s maternal presence or not (because the reality is, she is there), can exclaim in faith:
For those who pray the Rosary, the Rosary is as it were, a sign of the umbilical cord that ties the child to its Mother, a bracelet shared between siblings, the hand of a help-maid. Those who pray the Rosary are nourished by Mary as Mother, accompanied by Mary as Sister, and strengthened by Mary as Midwife in enduring the labour pangs of the cross, appointed to every Christian.
However we do so, those who call on Mary, whether they feel Mary’s maternal presence or not (because the reality is, she is there), can exclaim in faith:
“And why is this granted me, that the Mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the voice of your greeting came to my ears, the babe in my womb leaped for joy.” (Lk 1:43-44).
Yes, man or woman, male or female, a pregnant woman or
not, all Christians share in the blessing of bearing the life of Jesus in the
womb of the heart, and this babe leaps for joy, sanctifies and consoles, and increases
in stature within the soul that calls on the name of Mary and opens their heart
to her maternal love.
